Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
