I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize