Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize