Your mouth is God's brothel.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
