..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
