how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize