why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize