Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
