my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
high people should be assigned attendants
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize