Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm like, not good at living.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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