He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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