What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
True strength comes from lack of pants
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
