So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
