I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
