is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
