i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
