I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
