aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
