Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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