Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
