where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
