Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
