We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
