Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize