True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
