What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
