My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I want her autograph on my taint
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
