Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
