Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
