her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
