yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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