we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
