I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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