erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
