you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
