sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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