Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
