we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
