CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
