That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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