He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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