Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
40s are totally the cure
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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