So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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