i think i have herpe
just one?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
