I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
