just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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