Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize