I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
P.S. I can't hear my feet
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
