i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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