I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
