went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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