If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
