So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Reggie can tackle my bush.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So apparently I’m into choking now
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