I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
