Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
