You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
