its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
