dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
