It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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