Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
