Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
