that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Randomize
