Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You need Xanax blowdarts
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
